♥ Wednesday, June 16, 2010 ♥
I am currently emotionally, physically and mentally down right now. I have no other places to let it all out so i've decided not to bottle up my feelings any longer so, to those who might somehow hate/dislike the fact that im in relationship with boyfee now, eu can simply skip this post aye. Don't waste your time reading this, cauze for all i know, whatever i post here iz not meant to please you. Therefore, you like it or not, i'm still gonna post the way i wanted to.
Time check ; 1:34AM. My eyes are still wide open despite the fact that im skewling tomorrow morning. I just couldnt get this bloody eyes to shut close no matter how hard i've tried. Since i got nothing better to do, my brain automatically get my mind busy by thinking of babylove. Tears started to flow continuously. Im sorry, i couldn't find any better words to describe how much im missing him right now. All the memories that we both had, keeps on replaying in the landscape of my imaginary eyes. Everything felt so real and it hurts me to have waken up into reality. At that point of time, i wanted so bad, to stay, not wanting to go back into reality. Life is never fair, i know. All the people around me can only advice me to be patient. After all, it's always easier said than to be done. Am i not right?
*sigh* If only i could turn back time, i would cherish every moments that i had with him back then. Im starting to regret for the times that i didn't really treat him right, for being the root caused to our arguments, for everything that i did wrong towards him. Now, that he's nowhere near me, im unable to make it up to him for the time that we've lost because of me, my attitude. To those who are reading this, go and treasure your loved ones before distance get in between the both of you. Always treat him/her right before you failed to make it up to them the following day or so. Don't ever take advantage over their presence for you may not know when their absence will exist.
I am missing him real bad now. I miss him lying on my lap. I miss everything about him. I miss him effing much. When will the waiting ever be over? I couldn't wait to be in his arms once again. I wanto curled up by his side right now. I want him to always be next to me now and forever. I hate it. I hate it when i couldnt bring myself to tell him what im feeling right now. The real feelings of mine that made me suffers mentally all night long.
Why? Simply because i don't want him to get all worried in there thinking about me. Hafing to feel guilty for every tears that i've shed and for every hurt that was caused. I don't want him to feel sorry about everything that's happening right now. It wasn't his fault anyway. Never will i put the blame on him. Im still here waiting for your return b. Please, come back soon. :(
I got alot of things to say actually but I guess i shall put myself to bed now before i starts to say nonsense. Ouhhs wait, before i put my body and mind to rest, i wanna grab something to eat first. Yes, that's it for today. Goodnight and sleep tight.
;Baby, I Love You Soo Much!
