I really can't believe for everything that is happening right now. I'm sick and tired of everything already. It's really not fair for me to do everything all by myself. You once told me to leave some matters to you and that you'll settle them fer me, so I wouldn't have to worry much about it. So whuat's now.? Where the hell did you throw your promise to.?
Sometimes i wondered to myself if I've been asking too much from you. Yes I truly understand that I can't demand much things from you now.
All I can say is that I'm devastated. To be frank, I seriously am disappointed with you. Please stop doing this to me. It felt like I'm the only one who worked so hard to make this relationship right. I've never ask anything from you before, NEVER. In a love relationship, both parties must play their role in order to make it last. Now tell me, why do I only see myself trying really hard to secure this relationship.? Where exactly was you when everything starts to fall apart.?
Nonetheless, I've tried. I tried so hard to understand you and the situation although at times I find it really hard to do so. I tried so hard to hold on to this relationship even though at times, I felt like giving up any sooner. I tried so hard to built up this strength and courage on my own every time I ran out of those. I tried doing everything so hard for the sake of you, and of course for us too. Well I guess that explains the reason why we can make it through till today. Yes until today my love.
I put aside my feelings and instead i prioritized yours. I don't care if at the end of the day I'm gonna end up hurting because it's only you that I'm worried about most. I wouldn't want to see you cry because that's one of my weaknesses. I'm just so willing to go through this heartbreak so long your heart will be totally fine.
By now you should be able see the efforts that I've put in and realize how much you mean to me. You should also understand the reason why from the very beginning, it has always been you and there's no one else but only you. So stop making things hard for me. I've been keeping everything to myself because I wouldn't want you to be in despair. To think about it, why do I even bother considering your feelings when you simply don't consider mine.? Why must it always be me?!
I sounded harsh, yes I know. There's always a limit to everything. I wish giving up is as simple as one two three. If only giving up won't hurt at all, I guess I've already done it ages ago. And I can no longer continue typing because my tears is flowing like a tap water now. I'll end here because I'm feeling a lil bit okay now as compared to my condition few hours back.
And to my Gf, Icesyaah. Thank you for you've never failed to be there for me in times like this. I really appreciate everything that you've done for me. You're the only one that can differentiate my real smile and the fake one. For that, I'm really certain that you're my true, real Gf. I love you always, forever.
And friends, i needed time on my own. I hope that none of you will start texting and asking me what happened after reading this post. It won't help me at all because you're just gonna make me cry all day long. Takkaires.
ouhhsthatlala@hotmail.com
FARAH NADIA
